I am an entity who would not exist if it weren’t for passion…..
I am a sensational and passionate woman. I romanticize the mundane of life, it helps me from losing my mind. I’m passionate about the reflection I see in the mirror. I’m passionate about the clothing and accessories I decide to adorn my body with. I’m passionate in argument. I’m passionate when I speak (not the small talk i’m forced to engage in, in order to make it home to my little apartment at the end of the day). I chew with passion (don’t let it be a piece of gum either). I passionately sip my vodka water, that I so passionately squeezed and placed four lime wedges in. I sway and move with passion, but most of all I fuck with passion. I can admit (without shame or embarrassment) that my past lovers were more much more than just notches on a bedpost. If I could write them all a letter I would but this will have to do.
To: C.
The one who awakened me to the pleasures of being in love. The rush of dopamine released incomparable to any other drug. Although, the distance between you and perfect was father than any manmade measurement could express (and I was a 3 minute walk from perfect) you gave me something I had no idea I wanted much less needed. Intimacy. No, no, not sex, but intimacy. That intimacy awakened a passion in me, and though you had your myriads of faults and I had my few I am nothing short of content that I got to experience you as my very first romantic mistake. Our romantic encounter (and sorriest relationship i’ve ever been in to this day) was nothing short of chaotic and passionate. The true definition of hot and cold. I can’t thank you enough for giving me my first high, it’s changed my life.
To: J (aka R)
(Unbeknownst to you) You met me at a crazy time in my life. I’m skilled enough to never have it show, but I was spiraling. I met you through my gay (guy friend). I think you were just coming back from Korea. Although I initially wrote you off as another light skinned boy you were a gentleman and consistent. That brief period of consistency did more for me than you will ever know. I’m also grateful for your discernment and honesty. You have a mind of your own and I don’t know if you know (something I just now realized reflecting back), but you are very compassionate person. You extended grace to people quite often. I know this wasn’t going to amount to anything serious, because, well…. you had two kids. I however am a passionate women in anything I do, so I still choose to immerse myself in all that was you. As a woman of passion it’s hard to be a woman who will yield to the idea of sharing. But this title less relationship was giving me what I needed at the time. Someone gentle, understanding and consistent…. and great sex. It’s true that fingering is a lost art. I honestly didn’t even consider fingering was an art until you. God, blessed those hands. We’d never show up to the club together, but we’d always have a brief moment and to this day we still share those moments (although I try to act like I don’t see you because well I don’t know. Being cordial and amicable to a past lover is totally new to me). I secretly enjoy those brief (let’s not make things obvious, but…) greeting and hug, just like I enjoyed being eye candy in your lap at the club. I never ask about your personal life now (although I hear from others) and you never ask me about mines (not much has happened anyways). Although you’re a whore, you were a sweetheart. I’m glad I met you at the time that I did. I’m also glad you took me to Donna Maria. Aside from curry goat, that goat was the best i’ve ever ate!
To: C. (aka T)
LMAO, where do I begin? A very brief (and maybe borderline inappropriate) passion filled encounter. I’ll never forget when I walked past you in my friend’s drive way and didn’t even bother to acknowledge your presence sitting in my peripheral vision. I thought you were just another bum my friend had befriended (I wasn’t entirely right, but I wasn’t entirely wrong either). I remember returning to the friend’s house, sitting at the table and you grabbed my hand and boldly introduced yourself. Such a bold move (not just in this day and age, but also given my demeanor). I couldn’t help but to be moved (but of course I didn’t show it).You made me laugh a lot, like really A LOT! We also bonded over unfortunate, life altering circumstances we shared. Your life just really beginning and you’ve been through so much already. I think that’s why I had such a soft spot with you. Unfortunately, giving grace to men is not really my style. You had way too much maturing to do! I do hope that you see it through and I can honestly say that I do wish you the best.